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It’s there in her smile, a fleeting one that never quite reaches her eyes. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. According to Statistics New Zealand, in , the last time these things were reliably counted, there were , single-parent families in New Zealand. If we assume that figure has increased — and that some of these single parents don’t want to sit at home every night by themselves — then that’s a fair amount of Kiwis braving the dating scene, often after many years in relationships.
The first few years after splitting from the father of her son Nicolas, 5, were scary, the first time she registered with a dating app was scary, and as for the first time she forced herself to swipe right? You know where this is going. New York born and raised, she’s kind, interesting and laugh-out-loud funny. Paterson met Nicolas’ Kiwi father in when they were both working in a New York theatre.
The next few years were spent ping-ponging between Wellington, where Paterson completed music and German degrees, and the Big Apple where her opera singer mother and pianist father live.
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It’s not easy raising children on your own, and getting back into the dating game can be an even bigger challenge as these confessions prove. In a new thread on the secret sharing app Whisper men who refuse to date single mothers have revealed the reasons why – and some of them will shock you. Making use of the app’s anonymity, the bachelors didn’t hold back when it came to the perceived pitfalls of dating women with children.
Anne Malcolm, a senior counsellor with Relationship Services, says single parents must realise that the children come first and that any new relationship has to.
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But I have in fact met some lovely men over the years, mainly through friends. And it turns out that having a child is not the off-putting factor I thought it would be. One guy even said he considered my child a bonus! Anne Malcolm, a senior counsellor with Relationship Services, says single parents must realise that the children come first and that any new relationship has to fit around them.
Many single parents leap into a relationship far too quickly. If you are still attached emotionally, you are not ready for a new relationship and will end up hurt, or hurting someone else.